Browsed by
Tag: stepmom

Contempt—Sneaky but Snarly—It’s Gotta Go

Contempt—Sneaky but Snarly—It’s Gotta Go

If you ask me, my mom was a pretty good mom. Not perfect—but close. Her level of patience with four daughters, all within four-and-a-half years of each other, was stellar. However, on occasion she did lose her patience with me. One particular event I’ve never forgotten. It’s not what prompted her reaction that stuck with me. Being only four-years-old at the time I can’t remember. But what lodged permanently in my mind is the way she handled herself afterward. She…

Read More Read More

What I Learned Last Monday (and since then) about Injustice

What I Learned Last Monday (and since then) about Injustice

Last Monday was Martin Luther King Junior Day. A day we as a nation focus on racial inequality and injustice. We’ve struggled with this issue pretty much since day one. On this holiday I often wonder what it is I should personally do to address race issues. I feel so helpless to effect any kind of change. And on a broader scale, what can/should I do about any injustice? What words should I say to others? What actions should I…

Read More Read More

Has 2018 Already Found You Wanting?

Has 2018 Already Found You Wanting?

I don’t know about where you live, but in the world outside my window it’s c-c-c-cold. These days we’re happy if the temps rise above zero. Our landscape is covered in white, with fresh coatings usually once or twice a week. And on the days the sun shines, the angle of its rays results in mood-elevating brightness for about eight hours. Maybe it’s this fresh clean look that stirs hope this time of year. For at least the first few…

Read More Read More

My Child’s Mom

My Child’s Mom

He reported watching out the back window of the car as they drove away with him. His mom stood in the road waving until he rode out of view. That was the last time my son saw his biological mom. He was four years old. This scene breaks my heart. Some of my other children tell their own heartbreaking experiences of the day they were taken from their parents. Yes, I know. I have the documents from the court hearings…

Read More Read More

Did Mary Deserve to be Jesus’ Mother?

Did Mary Deserve to be Jesus’ Mother?

I used to stand under the soothing waters of a warm shower and cry to God, “I was a good girl!” (And I was—for the most part.) “What did I do to deserve this?” This meant sharp-edged children who didn’t know how to accept me as their mom. Us rule-followers can find like-minded characters in the Christmas story. You see, Zechariah, Elizabeth, Mary, and Joseph were all described in the Bible as righteous people. (So was Job.)   But despite…

Read More Read More

God Knows What it’s Like to Relate to Children Who Don’t Know How to Attach

God Knows What it’s Like to Relate to Children Who Don’t Know How to Attach

Okay, let’s get this ugly confession out of the way right now. We need to expose it, let it disgust us, let it bring us low, and then let it deliver us. We treat our Heavenly Father just like our unattached children sometimes treat us. Yep, we do. He gives; we gripe. He forgives; we fail again. He embraces; we enter in and just as quickly exit out. He assures us; we refuse to accept it. He protects; we protest….

Read More Read More

Abandonment is Part of the Christmas Story

Abandonment is Part of the Christmas Story

I wonder how much it would help our nonbiological children if they could grasp the fact that … Jesus, too, felt abandoned by his father. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46 And, how much would it help us moms if we also latched onto this truth? I wonder how we might change the way we parent if we applied the ways we feel when we think God has turned His back on us. Could tapping…

Read More Read More

Sometimes Halloween Creeps Me Out

Sometimes Halloween Creeps Me Out

I hope this doesn’t sound like a rant. Just an acknowledgement of where I’m at. I’m not interested in swaying anyone into my way of thinking. (Actually, that’s probably not true. Otherwise I wouldn’t be writing sharing my thoughts with you. What is true is that I’m not interested in arguing about a topic that has been debated for decades without resolution.) What I’m wondering is … How can I feel more enthused about Halloween this year? Or should I?…

Read More Read More

Have We Misunderstood the Cross We’re Called to Bear?

Have We Misunderstood the Cross We’re Called to Bear?

“I guess this is our cross to bear,” she said to our group of adoptive moms. We all nodded our agreement, somehow feeling comforted by that thought. Have you ever found comfort in defining heavy things in life as your cross to bear? Somehow we believe that trudging through life bowed beneath some cumbersome load is what God has called us to. And if parenting children from hard places is our cross, then we don’t have to blame ourselves, or…

Read More Read More

It’s Time to Sing, Sister!

It’s Time to Sing, Sister!

Last week I directed readers to Lucille Zimmerman who had shared some coping techniques for those struggling with trauma. One of her suggestions: Sing She said that though it sounds odd (the idea, that is), singing actually helps. That suggestion piqued my interest. My dad was a music minister for several years and my mom played the piano. We sang a lot in our home. On occasion, my dad would line up us four little girls on the church podium…

Read More Read More

Skip to toolbar