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Abandonment is Part of the Christmas Story

Abandonment is Part of the Christmas Story

I wonder how much it would help our nonbiological children if they could grasp the fact that … Jesus, too, felt abandoned by his father. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46 And, how much would it help us moms if we also latched onto this truth? I wonder how we might change the way we parent if we applied the ways we feel when we think God has turned His back on us. Could tapping…

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Sometimes Halloween Creeps Me Out

Sometimes Halloween Creeps Me Out

I hope this doesn’t sound like a rant. Just an acknowledgement of where I’m at. I’m not interested in swaying anyone into my way of thinking. (Actually, that’s probably not true. Otherwise I wouldn’t be writing sharing my thoughts with you. What is true is that I’m not interested in arguing about a topic that has been debated for decades without resolution.) What I’m wondering is … How can I feel more enthused about Halloween this year? Or should I?…

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Have We Misunderstood the Cross We’re Called to Bear?

Have We Misunderstood the Cross We’re Called to Bear?

“I guess this is our cross to bear,” she said to our group of adoptive moms. We all nodded our agreement, somehow feeling comforted by that thought. Have you ever found comfort in defining heavy things in life as your cross to bear? Somehow we believe that trudging through life bowed beneath some cumbersome load is what God has called us to. And if parenting children from hard places is our cross, then we don’t have to blame ourselves, or…

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It’s Time to Sing, Sister!

It’s Time to Sing, Sister!

Last week I directed readers to Lucille Zimmerman who had shared some coping techniques for those struggling with trauma. One of her suggestions: Sing She said that though it sounds odd (the idea, that is), singing actually helps. That suggestion piqued my interest. My dad was a music minister for several years and my mom played the piano. We sang a lot in our home. On occasion, my dad would line up us four little girls on the church podium…

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Limited by Finite Compassion

Limited by Finite Compassion

I’m struggling y’all. A month ago I wrote on Facebook, “Here we are at September already. Wasn’t August a doozy? Muscle-showing between the US and North Korea. Racism and riots in the east. Hurricane Harvey in the south. Drought and fires in the west.” I had hoped September would be better, but it was not. Two more hurricanes, an earthquake in Mexico, and October started with a mass shooting, the threat of another storm brewing in the Gulf of Mexico,…

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It’s Cross-Country Season. Four Tips for Running Well?

It’s Cross-Country Season. Four Tips for Running Well?

A few weeks ago Bob told me about the dream he’d had the night before. We were trying to leave for a trip and he was being slowed down by a myriad of obstacles, including a pool of ice cream. WHAT??? Have you had those sorts of dreams—where you are trying to go somewhere or get a job done, and a thousand things (even good things) keep slowing you down and tripping you up? That’s not a dream, you say. Welcome…

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Do You Have a Pied Piper in Your Pocket?

Do You Have a Pied Piper in Your Pocket?

“What is the greatest challenge facing young moms today?“ I asked this of mommy-blogger Leah Heffner who writes over at Life Around the Coffee Cup. She was actually interviewing me for her soon-to-be-released podcast series, but she offered me an opportunity to ask her a question. It’s been a while since I had children at home and I was curious what weighs today’s mommies down. In about two seconds she said exactly what I thought she might. Young moms today,…

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Jail Is Not My Monkey

Jail Is Not My Monkey

We sat on the restaurant’s patio, lulled by an unusually cool, late-afternoon breeze. Friends drawn together ten years ago by the common experience of mothering adopted children. Over the years we’ve shared challenges and losses, blessings and wins. Even with our kids now all grown, some of these moms are still going through the wringer. One mom, near tears, relayed her heaviness. Her fear that her child might end up going to jail, again. Thinking she was alone in this…

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What Mom Gets a Labor-Free Day?

What Mom Gets a Labor-Free Day?

Welcome to September. In fact, Happy Labor Day. Labor Day, you say. The holiday that honors laborers with a day of rest from their long hours of back-breaking work. Are moms included? Who else slaves like I do, 24-7-52? A day off? I wish! But it’s not gonna happen. The little one has a runny nose; bickering tongues need silencing; school starts tomorrow; and stinky heaps of whites, lights, and coloreds have engulfed the laundry room. Somebody, slap a hand…

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Was I a Racist in My Own Home?

Was I a Racist in My Own Home?

Do you see yourself as a racist? Probably not. You certainly hope not. Right? Me too. You know I’m probably going to say something like “we are more racist than we like to think.” Yep, I am. But then, if we’re honest, that’s no surprise. Don’t we all prefer to hang with people just like us? People who look, talk, and smell the ways we prefer. But that’s not really being racist, is it? The problem comes when we want…

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