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Tag: momproblems

Contempt—Sneaky but Snarly—It’s Gotta Go

Contempt—Sneaky but Snarly—It’s Gotta Go

If you ask me, my mom was a pretty good mom. Not perfect—but close. Her level of patience with four daughters, all within four-and-a-half years of each other, was stellar. However, on occasion she did lose her patience with me. One particular event I’ve never forgotten. It’s not what prompted her reaction that stuck with me. Being only four-years-old at the time I can’t remember. But what lodged permanently in my mind is the way she handled herself afterward. She…

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Has 2018 Already Found You Wanting?

Has 2018 Already Found You Wanting?

I don’t know about where you live, but in the world outside my window it’s c-c-c-cold. These days we’re happy if the temps rise above zero. Our landscape is covered in white, with fresh coatings usually once or twice a week. And on the days the sun shines, the angle of its rays results in mood-elevating brightness for about eight hours. Maybe it’s this fresh clean look that stirs hope this time of year. For at least the first few…

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When You Feel Like a Big Fat Zero

When You Feel Like a Big Fat Zero

The other day I watched a video depicting the expanse of outer space. OMW! (Oh. My. Word!) If you have a few minutes to watch it, it will help you get the picture I’d like to impart to you today. Eternity Revealed in Neverending Vastness The video starts in the middle of a line-up of moons, stars, and planets—left to right, smallest to largest. The picture scans right, requiring it to zoom out to include the picture of the next…

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Did Mary Deserve to be Jesus’ Mother?

Did Mary Deserve to be Jesus’ Mother?

I used to stand under the soothing waters of a warm shower and cry to God, “I was a good girl!” (And I was—for the most part.) “What did I do to deserve this?” This meant sharp-edged children who didn’t know how to accept me as their mom. Us rule-followers can find like-minded characters in the Christmas story. You see, Zechariah, Elizabeth, Mary, and Joseph were all described in the Bible as righteous people. (So was Job.)   But despite…

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Abandonment is Part of the Christmas Story

Abandonment is Part of the Christmas Story

I wonder how much it would help our nonbiological children if they could grasp the fact that … Jesus, too, felt abandoned by his father. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46 And, how much would it help us moms if we also latched onto this truth? I wonder how we might change the way we parent if we applied the ways we feel when we think God has turned His back on us. Could tapping…

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Sometimes Halloween Creeps Me Out

Sometimes Halloween Creeps Me Out

I hope this doesn’t sound like a rant. Just an acknowledgement of where I’m at. I’m not interested in swaying anyone into my way of thinking. (Actually, that’s probably not true. Otherwise I wouldn’t be writing sharing my thoughts with you. What is true is that I’m not interested in arguing about a topic that has been debated for decades without resolution.) What I’m wondering is … How can I feel more enthused about Halloween this year? Or should I?…

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Have We Misunderstood the Cross We’re Called to Bear?

Have We Misunderstood the Cross We’re Called to Bear?

“I guess this is our cross to bear,” she said to our group of adoptive moms. We all nodded our agreement, somehow feeling comforted by that thought. Have you ever found comfort in defining heavy things in life as your cross to bear? Somehow we believe that trudging through life bowed beneath some cumbersome load is what God has called us to. And if parenting children from hard places is our cross, then we don’t have to blame ourselves, or…

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It’s Time to Sing, Sister!

It’s Time to Sing, Sister!

Last week I directed readers to Lucille Zimmerman who had shared some coping techniques for those struggling with trauma. One of her suggestions: Sing She said that though it sounds odd (the idea, that is), singing actually helps. That suggestion piqued my interest. My dad was a music minister for several years and my mom played the piano. We sang a lot in our home. On occasion, my dad would line up us four little girls on the church podium…

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Limited by Finite Compassion

Limited by Finite Compassion

I’m struggling y’all. A month ago I wrote on Facebook, “Here we are at September already. Wasn’t August a doozy? Muscle-showing between the US and North Korea. Racism and riots in the east. Hurricane Harvey in the south. Drought and fires in the west.” I had hoped September would be better, but it was not. Two more hurricanes, an earthquake in Mexico, and October started with a mass shooting, the threat of another storm brewing in the Gulf of Mexico,…

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It’s Cross-Country Season. Four Tips for Running Well?

It’s Cross-Country Season. Four Tips for Running Well?

A few weeks ago Bob told me about the dream he’d had the night before. We were trying to leave for a trip and he was being slowed down by a myriad of obstacles, including a pool of ice cream. WHAT??? Have you had those sorts of dreams—where you are trying to go somewhere or get a job done, and a thousand things (even good things) keep slowing you down and tripping you up? That’s not a dream, you say. Welcome…

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