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Tag: Encouragement

Abandonment is Part of the Christmas Story

Abandonment is Part of the Christmas Story

I wonder how much it would help our nonbiological children if they could grasp the fact that … Jesus, too, felt abandoned by his father. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46 And, how much would it help us moms if we also latched onto this truth? I wonder how we might change the way we parent if we applied the ways we feel when we think God has turned His back on us. Could tapping…

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Christmas: Adoption in Reverse

Christmas: Adoption in Reverse

Can we find adoption in the Christmas story? At first glance, that seems like a stretch. But then again, if we pause long enough and dig deep enough, we might just find it there. After all, didn’t Jesus come to heal the hurting? To restore the broken? To seek and save the lost? (Luke 4:8; Luke 19:10) Surely if we look closely we can find messages of hope for the adopted, and the adopters. The Christmas story actually is an…

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Adoption Awareness Month: What I Wish the Church Knew About The Most Helpful Ways to Serve Adoptive Families

Adoption Awareness Month: What I Wish the Church Knew About The Most Helpful Ways to Serve Adoptive Families

I’ve probably sounded rather stern concerning adoption awareness. Most who’ve written about adoption this month are like, “Adoption is great! Let’s all join the parade!” It’s true, adopting children is great—it’s straight from God’s heart. And it is full of God’s blessings. But let me tell you, those blessings have a totally different look than most adoptive parents expect going into it. So, I don’t want to discourage adoption, or even adoption awareness. But I do want to present a…

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Adoption Awareness Month: What I Wish the Church Knew About The Real Scriptural Meaning of “Visiting the Orphan”

Adoption Awareness Month: What I Wish the Church Knew About The Real Scriptural Meaning of “Visiting the Orphan”

I had read James 1:27 numerous times before realizing: all I had to do was “visit” the orphans. I didn’t really have to bring all their brokenness and it’s fallout into my personal space. Did I? So as I pondered National Adoption Month and what to write, I thought maybe I should dig a little into Scripture to help discern what this all really means. “Religion” in this passage is generally understood to mean “worship”—a natural overflow of love in…

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Adoption Awareness Month: What I Wish the Church Knew About The Real Adoptive Child

Adoption Awareness Month: What I Wish the Church Knew About The Real Adoptive Child

She waltzes through the church, charming grandmas with her sweet-dimpled grin and black curls, enticing friends with generosity, beguiling teachers with clever responses, entertaining classrooms with humor, and impressing ushers with politeness. He does the same. They all do. The most common symptom of a child with attachment issues is their ability to charm others. They’re not necessarily trying to con people. They are simply employing survival techniques they learned in their formative years of life. If you go to…

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Adoption Awareness Month: What I Wish the Church Knew About the Real Adoptive Parent

Adoption Awareness Month: What I Wish the Church Knew About the Real Adoptive Parent

November is Adoption Awareness Month. I wonder how many of you cringe when you read those words. Does it grate on you when individuals and organizations highlighting the plight of the orphan, seem to “guilt” people into adopting? True, the numbers tell a heart-wrenching story. Approximately 153 million children worldwide have been identified by UNICEF and the U.S. government as “orphans” (children who’ve lost at least one parent; though this number does not account for children in institutions or who…

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Sometimes Halloween Creeps Me Out

Sometimes Halloween Creeps Me Out

I hope this doesn’t sound like a rant. Just an acknowledgement of where I’m at. I’m not interested in swaying anyone into my way of thinking. (Actually, that’s probably not true. Otherwise I wouldn’t be writing sharing my thoughts with you. What is true is that I’m not interested in arguing about a topic that has been debated for decades without resolution.) What I’m wondering is … How can I feel more enthused about Halloween this year? Or should I?…

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Have We Misunderstood the Cross We’re Called to Bear?

Have We Misunderstood the Cross We’re Called to Bear?

“I guess this is our cross to bear,” she said to our group of adoptive moms. We all nodded our agreement, somehow feeling comforted by that thought. Have you ever found comfort in defining heavy things in life as your cross to bear? Somehow we believe that trudging through life bowed beneath some cumbersome load is what God has called us to. And if parenting children from hard places is our cross, then we don’t have to blame ourselves, or…

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It’s Time to Sing, Sister!

It’s Time to Sing, Sister!

Last week I directed readers to Lucille Zimmerman who had shared some coping techniques for those struggling with trauma. One of her suggestions: Sing She said that though it sounds odd (the idea, that is), singing actually helps. That suggestion piqued my interest. My dad was a music minister for several years and my mom played the piano. We sang a lot in our home. On occasion, my dad would line up us four little girls on the church podium…

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Limited by Finite Compassion

Limited by Finite Compassion

I’m struggling y’all. A month ago I wrote on Facebook, “Here we are at September already. Wasn’t August a doozy? Muscle-showing between the US and North Korea. Racism and riots in the east. Hurricane Harvey in the south. Drought and fires in the west.” I had hoped September would be better, but it was not. Two more hurricanes, an earthquake in Mexico, and October started with a mass shooting, the threat of another storm brewing in the Gulf of Mexico,…

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