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Tag: Christmas

Did Mary Deserve to be Jesus’ Mother?

Did Mary Deserve to be Jesus’ Mother?

I used to stand under the soothing waters of a warm shower and cry to God, “I was a good girl!” (And I was—for the most part.) “What did I do to deserve this?” This meant sharp-edged children who didn’t know how to accept me as their mom. Us rule-followers can find like-minded characters in the Christmas story. You see, Zechariah, Elizabeth, Mary, and Joseph were all described in the Bible as righteous people. (So was Job.)   But despite…

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God Knows What it’s Like to Relate to Children Who Don’t Know How to Attach

God Knows What it’s Like to Relate to Children Who Don’t Know How to Attach

Okay, let’s get this ugly confession out of the way right now. We need to expose it, let it disgust us, let it bring us low, and then let it deliver us. We treat our Heavenly Father just like our unattached children sometimes treat us. Yep, we do. He gives; we gripe. He forgives; we fail again. He embraces; we enter in and just as quickly exit out. He assures us; we refuse to accept it. He protects; we protest….

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Abandonment is Part of the Christmas Story

Abandonment is Part of the Christmas Story

I wonder how much it would help our nonbiological children if they could grasp the fact that … Jesus, too, felt abandoned by his father. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46 And, how much would it help us moms if we also latched onto this truth? I wonder how we might change the way we parent if we applied the ways we feel when we think God has turned His back on us. Could tapping…

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Jesus: The Perpetual Gift

Jesus: The Perpetual Gift

How could it be past Christmas day and I’ve not yet mentioned Jesus—the greatest gift of all? But then, how can I even begin to describe Him? Yet it’s Jesus alone who carried me through the turmoil of raising SAFE* children. When a friend—a married man—got to know my daughter a little too well, I implored the Lion of Judah to devour that man. However when I looked in Scripture at the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, I discovered…

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Believe it or Not, You are the Gift Your Family Needs

Believe it or Not, You are the Gift Your Family Needs

He swindled his parents repeatedly in order to support his prodigal lifestyle. He was intimidating and demanding. For years his mother sat in our adoptive moms’ support group as we encouraged her to buckle down. Eventually she attempted to make a stand, but the entire family, including her husband, turned on her. In grief and self-rebuke she back-pedaled quickly to restore peace. Years later on a Mother’s Day, this son posted—for all his friends to see—how much he loved his…

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Does This Gift Come with a Return Receipt?

Does This Gift Come with a Return Receipt?

In April of 2010, Tory Hansen put her seven-year-old adopted son on an airplane and returned him to Russia. Her reason was that her son frequently exhibit violent behaviors and she had run out of ideas for how to safely manage him. While the world reeled with scorn at Tory, my reaction was, “Good for her. Finally, someone is letting the world know what we moms are going through.” We, who are attempting to parent children with early-childhood trauma, attachment…

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The Gift I Always Wanted – But Not Very Much

The Gift I Always Wanted – But Not Very Much

“Behold, children are a gift from the Lord … a reward …” (Psalm 127:3, NASB). Sure, maybe a white elephant gift! I didn’t just say that, did I? I’m not trying to be irreverent—and I’m not saying I think my children were lame jokes. But there were times it sure seemed God got me confused with some other lady when handing out “rewards”. Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt like I did. Let’s all just agree right here, this…

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